Cocaine Bear - Azimov

Cocaine Bear by Azimov - it's like Gentle Ben on COKE.

I know cocaine is sometimes referred to as 'Peruvian marching powder'. And I know Paddington Bear is from Deepest Darkest Peru - Could it be then that this is a game about the much loved Paddington, going on a coke fueled murder rampage through London town?

Of course not, that would be in terrible taste. No, but this is a game about a bear going on a coke fueled murder rampage. And it's 100% completely inspired by  true events. 

But is this game any good? 

Well, before I answer that, let me tell you more about the game. You play a bear that can't stop moving unless you are touching some form of wall. Many things kill you, including some of the scenery. You may be a huge killer bear off his eyeballs on coke, but lightly brush against a cactus or step foot in a puddle and it's instant death.

There are many deadly baddies roaming the map, but you can fight back, by entering 'fury mode'. More on that later.

The objective of the game very simple. Get the maximum score. So you will have to go around the whole map in search of enough coke to be able to murder as many people as possible. Thats it.

Does all of this make for a crap game? No, it's actually a fun challenge once you know how the game works.

Also look at the lovely graphics. There's a loading screen, music, game menu, animated sprites. This isn't the usual quality level of a game entered into this competition.

Winners don't do drugs

So, you are a cocaine fueled bear. You can't stop moving, because that how bears are when they're cocaine fueled.

You can find and consume white powder, which gives you the energy to kill - by entering 'fury mode'. 

In fury mode, you kill people by standing perfectly still and screaming at them until, in a panic they run into your open mouth. Doing this consumes your cocaine supply, which can be replenished by finding more as you explore the game. It's a strange idea, but its fun and works really well.

Another nice touch is the graphical style. I love the low res graphic style and how you can go behind the trees, giving the game an isometric feel. It's a really neat idea.

What does that sign say?!!

The case for crap

But this is were it gets a little bit crap for me, as I found the fake isometric aspect of the game confusing when it came to collision detection and I kept dying by touching things I didn't feel I would have been touching in an isometric world.

Another weird 'feature' is that sometimes you enter a screen and a bag of coke spawns for a second before turning into a cactus. I think this might be a bug.

Finally, entering some of the screens can lead to almost instant death, as there can be a puddle right in front of you and you have to react fast. Then, dying, you could respawn on another part of the screen that was inaccessible to you before you died. Which does seem a bit crap.

Art imitating life...

Azimov writes that this game is inspired by real life events. I looked into this. There was a bear. It ate a massive amount of coke, and then it died without killing anyone. So the bear is the victim in all of this, and man is the real monster. 

A more accurate game might involve a hungry bear searching for food, who is then able to find one giant bag of coke. The bear dies when the bag of coke is consumed and the game ends with the bear being taxidermed and put on display at a drugstore. That might be more accurate, but probably not a good game. I think Azimov made the right decision to play fast and loose with the facts in order to create a fun experience - he's not the only one to do so with this story.

As I said earlier, the objective of the game very simple. Get the biggest score you can. I feel there is an opportunity to develop this game further by giving the bear a goal - perhaps to escape the madness of the human world and return to an ever decreasing forest environment where he can get a better meal and find a quiet spot for a good sleep and the inevitable mother of all comedowns.

Mrs Bizzels Review 

"Oh no, I'm out of cocaine!" she shouts at one point. Clearly having fun.

She:

• Likes the bear theme.
• Likes the 'angry scream murder' game mechanic.
• Likes the mix of arcade and puzzle elements
• Does not like the weird respawn locations after you die on some screens.
• I think she would have played it more if it was a bit easier.

My final analysis 

Azimov made a fun and funny game. Any gripes I have mentioned are minor, and I found the game to be charming, funny and well presented. This is not your typical crap game, and it is definitely worth a download and a play through.

UPDATE - The version I reviewed didn't have the AY in game music, but Azimov has now managed to get that working, and very nice it is too! (Included in the download below)

Get it here