We are back, I've been on holiday, had a birthday - older and non the wiser! But, ready to review more games. Luckily for me, my email sacks are *bulging* with entries. That's right, two whole games wait for my attention. The first of which is a Fire Lord Quality Games (FLQG) submission. Here goes nothing!
Firelord tells me that the game's intro is 10 minutes long. I am already plunged into confusion, as the intro is a few seconds long. Although, these few seconds are quite interesting. There are a number of screens that perhaps setout gardens that can be found in the game. There is some sort of special effect in the transition between screens that made me think the game had crashed, but it had not. This effect is intended I think, but I'm not sure how its achieved - Machine code?
Anyway, the game is a text adventure, that involves the titular hero visiting gardens, and then killing the pests before moving on to the next garden. At least I think that's what you do. I can't get past the first garden! I find a blue spray can, and a green worm. I try everything I can think to type in order to try to spray the worm with the blue spray can. However, the clock is ticking, and after a few attempts it's game over.
When you die you return to an airport, from there you can head into the same garden. You retain your inventory, so I still had the blue can, which I didn't expect so spent quite a bit of time looking for it in the 5 containers that are in the first garden before realizing I was still carrying it - Craptastic!
Note:
'Up' and 'Down' allow you to change garden, and 'lookgfx' redraws the graphics.
Story So Far.... (In FLQG's own words, although some spellings were changed to protect the innocent)
Welcome to the Chronicles of Doctor Robbie Pssst!
Doctor Robbie Pssst was a strange man! He looked and dressed like a robot! This was strange since robots didn't exists the time period he lived and no-one knew what that word meant! He was also the first man that invented robot moves in dancing! In all the formal dance events he attended he used his amazing dance techniques to dazzle royals! Robbie Pssst died alone & unmarried in his private mansion!
There are many history books that talk about the real job and life work of Doctor Pssst : History recorded that he was a famous gardener!
He liked taking care of gardens. Many royal families trusted him to handle all their gardening issues! He helped save famous gardens all over the world. People still use his name when they describe how to use a spray can for insects*!
During his travels he helped with the restoration of an ancient Mayan garden. Deep inside the garden there was the entrance of a prehistoric cave! Deep in the cave - after a giant room that seemed to be a prehistoric kitchen- he discovered a prehistoric drawing. Near the drawing he discovered some human bones that was later examined by archaeologist and decided to name the owner of the bones "Cookie Man". The drawing was actually an inscription in caveman fonts**. Robbie has spent many years trying to decipher the text that he thought was talking about a secret unknown hidden secret (the double use of the word secret was intentional)!
After restoring and searching many Mayan gardens for clues, he discovered that one particular garden contained statues of secret and unknown gods! There he found half map that seemed like a treasure map that could led to the secret secret! He was immediately intrigued! He started searching the world for the other half of the map! From the information he gathered he understood that the map had something to do with an ancient graveyard that was haunted! The ghost there were protecting a long lost secret!
His quest eventually led him to the gardens of a scary castle. This is the story of the gardens of the Count Dracula Castle!!!
The previous unsuccessful attempt to a biography game can be found here :
Gameplay
In case you haven't heard about Dr Pssst check some videos here.
The game starts after you found a clue for the second half of the map. You begin your journey in an Airport and you must locate the first garden that will lead you to the secret secret! You must use your mind to protect the gardens you visit from deadly insects. Time is critical since you have limited moves in each garden!
Controls
The game has adapted to the keyboard all the usual actions that a gardener might need to do.
The game supports QWERT,AZERTY and DVORAK keyboard setups. Most people that reached the 5th level of the "Cocaine Bear Teaches DVORAK keyboard" kindergarten educational series program*** will have no issue with the game controls!
The game understands advanced English sentence structure. Eg "kill orc with club" will kill an orc with the club! Also, you can use commands like "give apple to monkey" , "open door six" , "get bottle", "drop banana" and much more!
Usually when you move between places you move using compass directions - West, East, North and EaSt. To honor all the garden archaeologists the game implemented their way of movement named G.C.D.R.C.(c)(TM) (Gardener Compass Direction Replacement Controls) . All the famous gardeners move between gardens not using the obsolete compass directions, they use level direction!
If you want to move from a simple garden to a more advanced one you need to go "Up" . For worst gardens you just go "down".
You can have a look at the scenery with the "lookgfx" command!
Features
- Introducing the "lookgfx" command! This is a powerful command that shows current room graphics!
- Amazing introduction lasting more than 10 minutes on a real spectrum.
- REAL action adventure typing action! If you are slow ,you start again!
- Featuring G.C.D.R.C. (Gardener Compass Direction Replacement Controls). You do not just move North and South, you move Up or Down!
- Featuring mythical gardens!
- Environmentally friendly : You can use the same spray can to kill many insects
- Historically correct game story. The game released in the 80s did not succeed to transfer the thrills of gardening.
- More than 137457 bytes were used for the whole game!
* The word PSSST does not come from the sound a spray can does. It actually comes from the surname or Dr Robbie!
** That inscription was studied in great extend by the famous French explorer "Ultimat Play da Gam"
*** You can see a poster of the government campaign**** for the "Cocaine Bear Teaches DVORAK keyboard" kindergarten educational series program here : https://i.imgflip.com/772ilz.jpg . Cocaine bear was a very successful kid character in the start of 2023. It even got a Universal movie and a ZX Spectrum Game! Former US President Donald Trump tried to compete with the famous mascot by launching his own educational series "Donald Trump Twitter Typing Tutor".
**** The original government campaign poster was this but it was changed because people thought it was racist to show a poster of a white bear to kindergarten kids!
General Information
This is the sequel of the prequel of the prequel of the prequel of an amazing trilogy!
ACTUAL Credits:
Fonts : https://damieng.com/typography/zx-origins/inkscript/
Images: Some taken from "Ultimate Play The Game" game screenshots
Tools used: ZX Paintbrush, Basin, Lantern Adventure System
(c)Real Adventures of Dr Robbie Pssst CSSCGC 2023 entry
In Summary
This can be reasonably be described as a game.
The game is full of bugs.... intentionally 🥁🥁
The graphics are quite good for a text adventure too (FLQG assures me of there originality). But I am quite baffled about what you are supposed to do! This one seems wonderfully weird, and almost very nearly not crap at all. I wonder what this could be turned into with a little spit and polish - a good game perhaps?
Please try it, here.
Try : kill worm with blue can :)
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