Toilet Trouble - Chat GPT

 

How I learnt to stop worrying and love ChatGPT

A new game landed in my inbox today. This game was 'written' by chatGPT (with minimal assistance from Chris Young). I tried to play it just now. Here are my initial thoughts:

• This is blooming Etch-A-Sketch isn't it? Just a super crap version where nothing I press actually does anything. 
• Why make THOSE the keys, in this day and age???
• What is going on here? Am I missing something?
• It looks pretty, but nothing is happening. Maybe I should read the manual? NEVER! 
• How am I going to review this. Please, god, why me?

The bumf...

Title: "Toilet Trouble"

Plot: You are a plumber who has been called in to fix a clogged toilet in a large office building. Little do you know, this is no ordinary toilet - it's cursed! The moment you start working on it, the toilet starts shooting out all sorts of gross and strange objects, like bananas, rubber ducks, and even live animals! Your job is to dodge the flying objects and fix the toilet before time runs out.

Gameplay: The game is played from a top-down perspective. You control the plumber using the arrow keys, and your goal is to make your way to the clogged toilet at the center of the screen. Once you reach the toilet, you need to press a button to start fixing it. As soon as you do, the toilet will start shooting out random objects. You need to use the arrow keys to dodge the objects as they fly toward you. If you get hit by too many objects, you lose a life. You only have a limited amount of time to fix the toilet, so you need to work quickly. Once you fix the toilet, you move on to the next level, which is more difficult than the last.

Graphics: The graphics are simple and colorful, with blocky sprites for the plumber and the objects that come out of the toilet. The office building in the background is also blocky, with windows and doors that are just a few pixels wide. The toilet itself is a large, round object with a wide rim, and it shoots out objects from the bowl in the center.

Sound: The game features a simple soundtrack that plays throughout, with bouncy and upbeat music to match the silly tone of the game. There are also sound effects for when the plumber moves, when he fixes the toilet, and when he gets hit by objects.

Controls: The game is played using the keyboard, with the arrow keys for movement and a button to fix the toilet.

Overall, "Toilet Trouble" is a silly and lighthearted game that is sure to make players laugh with its wacky premise and simple gameplay. It's not a complex or challenging game, but it's fun and entertaining for a quick distraction.

My review.

So, reading that it all sounds quite good. But don't be fooled. The game loads into basic, and once you type RUN and enter, the programme draws coloured circles on the screen. There is a single pixel on the screen, and I assumed that was the player. But I could not make anything happen at all. 

As you can see, I left the game going and it kept drawing circles, I never lost a life, and the time is now at -10, and the 'game' is still going. Non of the promised music either. Utter crap.

Maybe there is a game here and I'm missing it? Maybe there is a small bug that is stopping it working. Maybe this is some sort of fully automated etch-a-sketch game and I am being severely trolled by my future AI over lord.

I was also sent a more broken 'original version'. Oh lordy!

Chis also got the AI to write me an email...

Dear J Bizzel,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to promote a new game that I think you will enjoy. It's called "CRAP GAME," and it's available on the ZX Spectrum platform.

In this game, you play as a character who must avoid incoming objects and collect toilet paper rolls for points. It's a fast-paced and challenging game that will keep you entertained for hours on end.

One of the great things about this game is its simplicity. The controls are easy to learn, and the graphics are clean and engaging. Plus, the game's scoring system adds an element of competition that will keep you coming back for more.

I highly recommend giving this game a try. It's a great way to pass the time and have some fun. You won't be disappointed!

Thank you for your time, and I hope you enjoy the game.

Best regards,

Chris/ChatGPT

Then Chris provides a little more detail....

* I have not fixed it so it actually works as intended, that would have been more work than actually writing the thing myself in the first place.

So Chris admits the game is totally broken, and he's unprepared to put any effort into fixing it. Maybe I should disqualify this mess immediately. But then again, is Chris trying to reassure us that though AI will one day enslave my children and their children, it can't make even the crappest of crap games properly, and therefore, maybe I should worry a little less and just enjoy the utter crappness of life, which is a 'piece of shit, when you look at it'. 

Toilet trouble is here