Softly Softly Catchee Monkey - EQ

The idiom which the game borrow for it's name means "A slow and careful way of resolving an issue, typically when dealing with a deceptive or otherwise challenging person or thing."

So lets see if the game mechanic lives up to this delicate balancing act.

The game is classic 'crap game' faire, and would sit happily on Cassette 50. It has no loading screen, but a nice BASIC intro screen which make good use of a couple of well designed UDGs, and there is even a bit of a beeper tune. 

You play Keeper Joe, and you must capture a monkey 'ninja' that has escaped. However the intro warns of 'complications'. What could these complications be, I wonder?

I made it to the council estate.

So as far as I can tell, the game requires you to try to move towards the monkey, and catch it simply by walking into it. This starts out quite easy, but quickly becomes difficult because you move frustratingly slow, and after each level the monkey gets faster.

To make matters worse, when you do manage to catch the money, you are told that he slipped through your fingers and got away. Are these the complications the title spoke of?


Between levels there are some amusing interludes, where EQ describes how the monkey has alluded you. However, enduring the frustrating gameplay and succeeding, only to be told you actually failed is quite disheartening!

Upon losing the game I discover I have been fired and my wife has left me. Ermm, it's pretty bleak really! 

The game is painfully slow, and unrewarding, but it does have amusing moments and some dark humor.

Crank it up!

I set the emulator to 400% and start my Sunday morning with a second go of Softly Softly Catchee Monkey. The game is still slow at this speed, but it is more playable. I don't think this is EQ's fault, but the limits of Sinclair BASIC.

I make more progress this time. There is a housing estate level (for some crap-tastic reason the monkey is able to eat the houses). Then, the next level, Keeper Joe gets tired and slows down even more! Later he has a drink and becomes drunk (i.e. even harder to control). Then he becomes blind, and you must chase the monkey by The Force (or the groovy distance gauge in the top left). Then it became night time and it was dark. I died here. Drunk, exhausted, and blind, I failed to catch the monkey. My wife left me and I lost my job. I'm not compelled to try again.

Part of the frustration is that sometimes you do catch the money, and then the game engine blinks and flashes, and you realise that it has not registered you achievement, and the monkey carry's on his random trajectory. 

Final Thoughts

Coming back to my original question, does the game play represent a slow and careful way of resolving an issue? 

Well, slow yes. But careful, no. 

Does it involve dealing with a deceptive or otherwise challenging person or thing? If challenging means causing you to lose you job and wife, then I guess yes, but deceptive? No, not really.

So based on my newly contrived Idiom Based Scoring (IBS for short), Softly Softly Catchee Monkey gets 50%

But I'm cutting the score to 25% because no Sunday morning should have to start this way.

Make of that what you will. 

Get it here


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